Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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