Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Still dying that you shit outside
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
