So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
