There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
