between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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