the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
