Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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