yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she looked like the before picture.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize