so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
