I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
