He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so let's talk penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
