I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize