I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
