Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
