So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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