By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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