i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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