Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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