Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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