dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
