omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
