I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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