Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
