I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Randomize
