Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
