So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
