I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
