is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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