I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
