if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
