this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My balls are so social today.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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