I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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