hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
