Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
