puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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