What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
