were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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