forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
