Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
