so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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