i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
