Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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