It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
