Nicole vs. Life
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize