yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
