in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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