Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
