you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
