is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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