You're completely useless in the revolution.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
