You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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