what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
