There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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