If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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