All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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